Being the Whole Universe

I had the most important spiritual experience of my life so far at some point between the age of one and four. I’d like to share the story with you.

That day, I was outside, surrounded with very high grass. I found an enormous white stone, quite flat. Many little red points were moving around on it. I found it very amusing to watch them. Out of curiosity, I pushed one of those little points with my finger. It stopped moving. Oh! I tried the same on other red points, and they all stopped moving. That was fun! I used the little red points to draw some nice geometrical shapes on the stone. I just watched them closely, my finger above them, and when one of them was in the right place, I pressed it.

Suddenly, something very strange happened. I felt smaller and smaller. It was like shrinking to the size of a dust particle. I felt so extremely tiny, a microscopical part of a colossal, dark, impressive Universe. At the same time I grew bigger and bigger and expanded to an enormous size. I was as huge as the Universe itself! Even vaster, as I was containing it entirely. It was even more than that – I was the Universe. I could intensively feel the whole world as being me.

It was an amazing feeling that I never forgot. Being simultaneously so minuscule and so gigantic, such a small part of the Universe and the Universe itself, blew my mind. I had such an encompassing awareness of everything that is. I’ve never felt so much Power and Peace at the same time.

And then I understood that those little red points on the stone were tiny red spiders, living beings, and that I had been killing them. I suddenly got a sense for what Death is, not only an idea, but a very concrete feeling for it. I also understood that I did not have the right to play with their lives the way I had been doing it.

What happened that day shook me to the core. It was the most impressive experience I ever had so far. I still remember this feeling very well, it played an important role later in my life. For instance in developing my social skills. More about this in my next post!

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