Language Fetishism

I love learning foreign languages! It’s so much fun. My favorite way of procrastinating. Especially when I discover a new language that I like. I can get so hooked on it that I forget about everything else and spend hours and days doing nothing but listening to it, reading it, and trying to figure out how it works. I also love teaching the languages I already speak. And most of all I love talking about grammar, phonetics or etymology.

Actually, all of the above is a big sexual turn-on for me. Languages are just damn sexy. I think I have a language fetish.

Linguistic polyamory

I’m in love with many languages, each one in its own way.

My newest discovery is Norwegian. It’s so interesting! Did you know that there are actually two official written languages in Norway, called Nynorsk and Bokmål, and plenty of different spoken dialects? I didn’t know until recently. Before meeting It’s fascinating. And VERY sexy.

At the moment I’m learning Høgnorsk, a puristic version of Nynorsk (I am a purist, I can’t help it). I definitely want to go live in Norway for a while, to get really good in Norwegian. I find Høgnorsk terribly arousing. Its grammar is hot. When I learn new words I am so happy! And when I succeed in crafting some correct sentences, then it’s simple, I just feel like immediately having sex.

I also love Romanian. A few years ago I heard this song by accident on the radio. It’s one of those pop songs that I would hardly listen to normally. But when I heard the language, oh my! I was beside myself with joy!

One of my travel projects is to cross the Carpates by foot, so I want to discover Romania anyway. The language will be one additional reason to go.

Many years ago I fell madly in love with Russian, and this never changed. It happened when I watched a movie by Nikita Mikhalkov called Pyat vecherov. I really liked the movie, but most of all, it was the very first time I got to hear some Russian, and that was… love at first sight. Erm, audition.

I feel very passionate about Russian. Somehow I never managed to learn it, but I will, I swear it. And I definitely want to live in Russia for a while too. I’m totally in love with the country, the literature, the people, just everything. And the language of course. Russian is one of the sexiest languages ever. When I hear it, I just melt.

Another extremely sexy language is Icelandic! I haven’t heard much of it yet, but what I heard swept me off my feet. A man speaking Icelandic with me in bed would probably make me lose my mind out of sheer ecstasy.

I feel sweetly romantic towards Tibetan. Last year I heard a voice in my head saying “Tibet, music” to me. I didn’t know anything about Tibet back then so this was quite surprising! After discovering Tibetan music and listening to those songs, I fell in love with the language too. This love is peaceful though and seems to come more from my heart and less from below my waist. ;-)

My other linguistic projects involve learning Japanese at last, refreshing my rusty Spanish, and improving my English until it’s fluent.

English is a pain in the ass. Maybe it’s because I’m French, but I have a hard time speaking it. I dislike opening my mouth as wide as if I were trying to swallow a hot potato. It’s so totally not elegant. But I love the bitch anyway. Some day I’ll end up handcuffing and laying it.

I miss Spanish a lot. Haven’t spoken it in about ten years. And I’ve forgotten almost everything. :-( In school I didn’t like it at all, I found it ugly. Later I met people from Ecuador and discovered South American Spanish. That I totally loved.  It’s beautiful. It’s powerful. It touches my heart. South America is another place I’d like to live in for a while. Especially Argentina, to get to dance some tango argentino. :-)

As for Japanese, it’s been a love interest of mine for a long time now. One of those you look at from afar and sigh.

I already speak German and French fluently. We’re married. :D I recently discovered that teaching them is exciting though. When I talk about their grammar or history I do feel passionate about them again.

There are unhappy loves, too. I tried to learn Chinese and gave up after a couple months, knowing very well that I’d never be able to speak it with no accent. Same with Arabic, trying to pronounce it is futile. I don’t want to learn only the written language in Chinese and Arabic. Both are very beautiful, but this would be like having a relationship without sex. ;-)

Some languages are sexier than others. For example for me personally, Italian isn’t sexy. I’ve been in Italy, I was happy of course when I was able to understand what people said, but I didn’t feel in love or excited or anything like that. Italian is nice, but it doesn’t arouse me. It’s in the friend zone. :p

Why are (some) languages so sexy?

I don’t know.

I wish I could explain it, but I can’t. Maybe it’s the way they sound. Hearing them just turns me on. Or maybe it’s the logic their grammar is based on. Or maybe languages just are to me what feet are to others?

Learning foreign languages is very exciting. For me each new language is an additional degree of freedom. I don’t think and feel in language A the way I think and feel in language B. So speaking a foreign language is like switching personalities in some way. Some things also can be expressed easily or elegantly in one language and laboriously or heavily in the other one. Juggling between languages allows me greater freedom and is a lot of fun.

Of course there is the communication aspect. Languages enable us to communicate, especially with people who live in a completely different culture. Alone learning their language, even without talking to them, is a way of understanding them better. That’s very interesting! I’m fascinated by communication in all its forms, be it spoken language, language of signs, body language, languages of other animals, dancing, sex, telepathy, psychic abilities, electromagnetic waves, music, programming languages, theory of codes, or cryptography.

Languages allow me to play. I love learning about the history of the words I use, playing on their connotations, or playing with linguistic levels. This can be challenging. For example adapting the language level to the content of what you want to say isn’t that self-evident when you’re not using your mother tongue. Or creating inappropriate word combinations, that’s so much fun! For example “Thou shall not utter a shitload of balderdash”. XD

I enjoy experimenting with style. There’s definitely an aesthetic aspect in speaking a language, be it our mother tongue or some foreign language. How to creatively design the most elegant or beautiful or accurate sentence? Words have a past, an aura and a soul. We have a relationship with each one of them. Some words are cute, lovely, endearing. Others just sound funny, or obnoxious. Others again are scary, they look terrible. Don’t you relate to words this way? :-)

And then there’s the technical aspect. I guess that is what’s really hot. I can’t help it, I love grammar. Grammar is so fucking sexy. Learning about the syntax of a language, figuring out how it works, what its most intimate mechanisms are – all that is highly erotic. It totally turns me on to talk about comma rules or about the position of the verb in the sentence. I don’t know why. The same way I find Linux sexy or get horny when I prove a mathematical theorem I’m also aroused by the technical aspects of languages.

After all, our primary sexual organ is our brain. So, intellectual masturbation is a valid stimulation. ;-)

I’ve never had sex with another language fetishist, so I don’t know what it would feel like to talk about grammar or in several languages while making love – but I imagine this would be totally hot. :D

Thank You for Reading
I appreciate your time and attention. :)
If you enjoy my articles, I invite you to subscribe to my newsletter so you don't miss any!  

0 Responses to Language Fetishism

  • Barboza says:

    I LOVE languages as well (not aroused by them, though, heh). I would spend my whole day learning grammar if I could – pronunciation doesn’t matter that much to me, I could perfectly learn to just read Arabic, without learning how to speak it.

  • Eric says:

    Mmmm, the sound of a foreign language in a beautiful accept. *swoon*

    Thanks for sharing, you inspire me to take my language learning more full on.

    I also want to be the swooner rather than the swoonee. French in an Aussie accent anyone?

  • Rose says:

    @Víkþórr: Thank you! :) I’m so glad you like it. I feel understood. :D

    @Barboza: I’m not surprised you can go without speaking, as you already have relationships without sex with your languages. ;) Welcome, btw. Glad to meet you! :) Which languages do you speak?

    @Eric: I teach you French if you help me to handcuff English! ;) I didn’t realize I could inspire anyone with this post, so I’m very happy to hear. :) Thank you.

  • Barboza says:

    Thanks, even though I’ve been around since about feb 2008 :).
    I’m a native Spanish speaker, and am currently learning French and Latin (spoken, too – latinum audio course :D) and has a huge to-learn list which I’ll probably never complete, heh.
    And… I’m quite left brained, which is probably the reason I’m not as emotional about languages as you are :)

  • Raj says:

    Great post. :D
    I find French very erotic, unfortunately it is difficult to learn as well. Especially for someone who has not studied Latin.
    I would also love to go out with German. :D

  • Andrew says:

    I love languages too! But you’re lucky, French is the sexiest language in the world. I always use it for love talk ;)

    Wait, no, Catalan is a bit sexier. Maybe I think so because I fell in love with a nymphomaniac Catalan girl, but when I hear songs in that language now my heart beats a little faster. It’s great, if you know Spanish and French it’s a breeze! :)

  • Rose says:

    @Barboza: Spoken latin, now that’s original! :D I know what you mean with the huge to-learn list, I have one too… If you have questions about French, please feel free to ask. :)
    And… I’m quite left-brained too! (I know you don’t believe me now. :D)

    @Raj: Thank you. :) I’m often told that French is so erotic. I guess I don’t notice because well, I’m so used to it. I’m sure you’ll manage to learn it. And German too. :)

    @Andrew: I want to hear your French! And I still have yet to hear your very sexy British accent, btw. :p For me Catalan isn’t sexy at all, that’s what the old grandpas sitting on public benches in town speak here. It must be the girl. :)

  • Eduardo says:

    Well, I have a crush with German, but what really turns me on is Japanese! Oh, and Python too, but this happen to be a computer language… :D


  • Rose says:

    Hi Eduardo, I’ve been thinking that your comment was missing somehow. ;)

    I don’t know Python very well yet. I’m furiously in love with Haskell though! :D And with a few other programming languages as well. Even assembler is sexy. :D

    What I also love are calculus, like the lambda calculus or the pi calculus. These are languages too. But I’ll write about that in my post about maths fetishism. ;)

    Love to you Eduardo. :)

  • Eduardo says:

    Oh, hi Rose :)

    I am sorry I could not post more often. I have enrolled to obtain a new degree in Computer Science (I already have a degree in Physics) and I sometimes now I feel like the day have a few hours less somehow… :) Where is it, the missing time? :P

    I dont really have been introduced to Haskell yet, but from what the fairies are whispering, it sounds like nice and warm language, capable of bring peace and understanding to the land of multi-processors :D

    Well, my first love was assembler… I remember spending like six months to write a simple program… and more six months for the program to work… :D

    And math, of course… well, altough I really like calculus, right now I am having a bit of a strugge with some simbolic algebra that seems to have more or less a headache… ;)

    Much love to you, Rose! :* :)

  • Rose says:

    Well yeah, assembler is *a bit* laborious. :D

    I love the image of algebra having a headache! :D But you’re lucky anyway. I’m so fond of algrebra.

    Have fun with CS! Much love to you too. :*)

  • Victor says:

    I love English. I’ll be honest. I had a lengthy love affair with French, but haven’t spoken it well in a while although recently I met a couple from France while travelling in India, which was amusing. I spoke to them for a while and they spoke enough English for me to get my point across and improve my French. I am currently having a fling with Tamil. I know we’re not meant to be. I know there are sounds I can’t make. Ironically I can make every sound most latinate language speakers have issues with, but cannot do a rolling R. I’m considering seeing a speech therapist about this issue so that I can learn Spanish. In any case, Tamil is not an especially sexy language. Still, French and German are hot. I need to learn German… and Japanese. I think Japanese comes first because I love the culture so much.

  • Rose says:

    Tamil? Oh, interesting! About the rolling R, even some roman language speakers cannot make it. But I hope you will succeed. I’m happy you want to learn German and French! I had a closer look at Japanese and am a bit turned-off by it, I admit. Anyway, nice to meet another language lover. :-)

Copyright © 2016 Rosine Caplot. All Rights Reserved.