Harmonious Breakups are Possible

In 2010, Víkþórr and I will be going separate ways.

Our relationship was not aligned with my highest path and purpose, with my career and with my world saving plans. I’m ambitious, I want to make a huge difference. My mission is the most important thing in the world to me. This relationship was not compatible with it. Víkþórs energy is not aligned with the energy I want to create in my life.

For a couple months now I’ve had a bad gut feeling about the relationship. My spirit guides confirmed it. Not aligned. Yet I couldn’t manage to leave. My rational mind saw no reason for that. I totally love him. The relationship worked great. Víkþórr is absolutely awesome and wonderful, cute, sexy, kind, and all other good things. He did nothing wrong at all. Why would I leave a guy who’s just a perfect boyfriend?

In the end, my intuition won. I thought about the highest good of all. A relationship being detrimental to my own plans is one thing. But I realized that if I let it hold me back on my path, that is also bad for the whole system. That’s intolerable.

A few days ago, we were talking about my persistent bad gut feeling about the relationship. I told him that I know it won’t go away and that sooner or later, I’ll have to leave him. So we decided to separate immediately  instead of torturing ourselves with that knowledge.

It was really difficult. Saying goodbye hurt like hell. Now I am crying my eyes out of course. But I also feel much better. He deserves better than a girl who is with him while thinking all the time that she should not be with him! I also have more energy now. I was feeling so miserable about it lately. I knew I should leave, but didn’t have the balls to leave. Being incongruent feels really bad to me. Now I have this energy back.

It was a very successful breakup, even though we both were very sad. No anger, no reproaches. No clinging, either. He said he loves me enough to let me go, which I found very beautiful. We told each other that we love each other and that we are wonderful, amazing and awesome. Our connection and trust are still there. I’m so thankful to him for the great year we had together. Going this portion of my path hand in hand with him was an honor and a delight.

Harmonious, peaceful breakups are possible. :-)

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0 Responses to Harmonious Breakups are Possible

  • Wow. Powerful post. I feel the strength behind your words. And I see a deep part of myself in this. I feel a more powerful being in you (and one emerging in myself). Thank you for sharing. I admire how consciously you’ve handled this. Love is with you both.

    This post brought up issues with myself. In the abstract I know I’ll always be redefining my relationships. I’ll become distant from some and closer to others. But I’ve struggled with the notion of “breakups”. What’s does it mean for me? Or generally, what should a “breakup” look like? What’s a good breakup?

    I sometimes hold the view that I should clear cut people. I kind of stay out of contact with people by default anyway. (Not sure why). So just completely stopping contact wouldn’t be a stretch.

    Intuitively and logically that approach is off. I’m not in the bridge burning business. But I still don’t have a model for how I could “breakup” with compassion.

  • Andrew Gubb says:

    I hope you are OK now my beautiful, and I’m glad you did the right thing… :) Ah I wish I’d had a harmonious break up!! :( Well the universe has this way of giving you something amazing when you’ve made space in your life for it… trust me here :D


  • Rosine Caplot says:

    @Andrew: yes I know, we need to create some vacuum first, and then something new appears. I’m not looking for a new relationship, though. My focus lies elsewhere for now. :-)
    @Jack: thanks. :-) For me, ideally relationships just fade in and out of my life without any drama or even conscious decision. You’re very aligned, you spend more time together. You’re less aligned, you spend less time together. Simple, really.
    That’s not always possible, though. Especially not when attachment comes into play, or when there is a serious partnership added to the relationship. Like supporting each other’s goals, etc. In that case, when it’s time to part ways, there is need for some conscious talk about it, and for some deliberate goodbye.
    The art is to do that harmoniously. :-)
    Love. <3

  • Eduardo says:

    Wow! I too wish I had a harmonious breakup… Sure, lately with experience, I learnt to break in ways that were much less traumatic that when I was younger, but I can’t call that harmonious yet.

    Interesting model and mindset you have here, much less dramatic and painful.


  • Hi Eduardo,

    I see it like walking through a forest. :-) The forest is life, and we each walk our own path through it, meeting challenges, seeing interesting things and learning lessons.
    You can walk together with someone for a while, or for a long time, for that matter – but if at some point you want to go in different directions, then you just part ways. You can still see each other through the trees and wave from time to time. :-)
    If in a forest you go see some clearing on the right, and the other person goes to see a tree over there on the left, then that’s not a reason to be mad at each other, right? :-)
    Love. <3

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