The #1 Mistake I see People Make when Trying to Get What They Want
Aside from the healing work itself, one of the most important things I do in my sessions is to help my clients get clear on what they want.
Very often, when I ask my clients about their intention for the session, they don’t know. Or, they know what they want to heal or get rid of, but they are unable to define clearly what it is that they do want instead. The first thing we then need to do is to have a conversation about what they really want beyond their problem. Most people, when they have a problem, are unable to see beyond it.
The same applies to me. Usually I have clear intentions. But when I have a really big problem, something painful that makes me suffer, it obstructs my view so much that I, too, am unable to define what it is that I want instead. All I see is what I don’t want to have anymore!
I think this is the biggest mistake we make when we try to get what we want: we don’t know exactly what that is. We might think we know what we want, I mean duh, it’s so obvious, right. But when you have a closer look at it, you soon realize you aren’t able to define it very clearly.
Many times I have thought that I knew very well what I wanted. But when asked to define it, I realized it was all fuzzy and foggy in my head!
Usually we only know what we don’t want. We know very well which problem we want to solve, which pain we want to heal, which issue we want to get rid of. We know what needs to disappear! That we can describe very well. But we don’t have a clear idea of what needs to be created.
We create more of what we focus on. When we focus on what needs to disappear and cannot even define what needs to be created, we’ll have a hard time creating it.
We cannot solve a problem when we are unable to see beyond the problem. To attract a solution, we need to be vibrating in solution mode, not in problem mode. That’s what’s usually missing.
I believe the #1 reason people don’t get what they want is that they are unable to define what they want.
Imagine you go to the restaurant. The waiter greets you and asks you what you want to eat. You go through the menu and tell him “Oh geez, I don’t want any meat! Meat is disgusting. And your pasta sucks. Do you know how unhealthy pasta is? I don’t quite know what I want to eat, maybe salad… But certainly not these salads here. They don’t appeal to me. This soup here also kinda disturbs me. I would like a dish that has none of these ingredients…” It would take a long time for the waiter to figure out what it is that you do want and bring you your food!
Life is similar. If you keep focusing on what you don’t want, or if you are unable to tell exactly what you do want, chances are small that you’ll get what you want.
Tip:
1) Define your intentions very clearly. Use precise words to describe what you want. Don’t micro-manage the details! But figure out what is essential to your intention, what you really want, and then describe this as clearly as possible.
Put it down on paper in handwriting. Writing something down will make it much clearer to yourself. Often we think we clearly know what we want, but it actually is fuzzy in our head because our intention remains in a sub-linguistic state. We aren’t really using words in our head to describe it, we just kinda know what we want. We are in a wordless limbo. Writing your intention down using actual words is different! It forces you to get really clear.
Words focus our energy. Words have creative power.
2) Once you have written your intention down, go through it and check each single word of it. You can ignore words like “the”, “it” or “a”. For all other words, ask yourself “Do I really want this?”.
If your intention contains one word that is negative, that makes you feel bad, that does not inspire you or that does not describe what you really want, re-formulate your intention in only positive, inspiring words that describe what you do want.
Also see: How to Set Effective Intentions.
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I want to be able to define clearly what I want. YES! I DID IT! :D
Congratulations. ;)